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Myst: Hey little lady! Wow-You have major stuff going on and stuff you are realizing, thanks for sharing this blog- its brave of you, I know if i did one I would be so blatant it would hurt people lol -lots going on here too- sucky trapped stuff tho- glad you are free and can maybe see through alot of what you are going through--I assume you may be talking about F=7 1/2 years? damn- maybe some time and space and healing and yeah-- not to hope just things can move like that and healing is necessary. Lo
Pixie: Hey girl! Glad you joined! Unfortuantly, seems that the site is having probs right now- Ive tried to comment like 10 times and it hasn't gone through. grrr... congrats about NAU! Oh and I totally know what you mean about losses this past week. Ive suffered my own. I'm sorry to hear that. I'll talk to you soon. Love ya

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Mar 26 '09

2:39 PM

I need to go

  • Mood: Alone
It seems every blog I post is sad and depressing.  Perhaps because I only feel compelled to actually write on it when I am sad and depressed.  Huh.. go figure.

Anyway, I'm a stupid, stupid girl.  I have no problem saying this because my sense of self is very assured.  With the good comes the bad... if I can freely admit the good, I should likewise be able to admit the bad.

I'm naive.  I'm trying to venture out onto my own and it's just not working.  It's not happening, it's not smooth, nor graceful and well timed.  It's actually very bad timing.  Everything seems to be.  I'm not reliant enough on myself to get me through this--I'm constantly searching outward, where I need to be searching inward.  I'm always looking for a male companion to come help me out, or keep me company, or be there, etc. etc.; which is a tremendous issue.  Tremendously bad.

Lest I forget for the last 8 years of my life I've had a constant companion.  Who I always want to go running back to (but I restrain myself) because I'm weak.  I need an extended absence from everything.

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